Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Alone in the horde of friends..!

Another change of place, another change of people, of colleagues and of friends of course. Changes never troubled me ever but this one has been an exception so far. Being an extrovert, it didn't took me time to get comfortable with the people around.   Now i always am surrounded by people i call friends. 
People getting anything and everything they love, people enjoying every course of their lives, people sharing laughs and tears together, people who actually are loving the life they landed into. 

Here i am, smiling vaguely on the jokes i don't like, pretending to enjoy the company of the people around, staring at their lives they have accepted happily. I never was an overly optimist person but somehow managed not to get envy of the people around. I have had change of places and people quite frequently but i was well versed at creating good companies.

At 26, almost, i already have started getting bored of the jokes in a group of friends, i don't find people amusing anymore, great humor impress' me no more and chirpy people irritate me now. I still get myself registered in the gatherings where people talk, laugh and enjoy each other's company but there is me, standing, and pretending to contribute. The fact is, somehow no species of human being amuse me anymore.

Most of the time i am irritated, confused, furious and envy. I get envy of the people around me who i don't know how, manage to enjoy all the ups and downs in their lives. I get envy of the people who get each and everything they think of. I get envy of all the happiness around me. I get envy of the people boasting about how their lives are shaping the way they wanted.

And here i am.. Standing in a group of friends.. Trying to get myself marked among their joys.. But finally finding myself alone in the horde of friends! 


P.S Loneliness is a bliss for some and misery for others. Decide what you want to make out of it.


3 comments:

  1. hi manas its tough to pen down feelings so that the outside world can connect to u ...and u hav done that effortlessly

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    1. Hi Aastha.. thank you so much for the praise. :) Keeps me motivated.

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